After the smashed success (or you poor
bastards who are coming here because it is still linking to the cover
art of Those Young Girls w/ Traci Lords that I had previously talked
about in my old format) of Blaxunshine 6 Pack Cinema Awards vol I
viewing is under way for vol II's for nominees who will be awarded
these coveted aluminum trophies filled w/ golden amber
In honor of all the carbohydrates that
I have been putting in my system I will be watching movies that start
w/ the letter C
..that's right C as in Corona that I am
drinking right now
So load up on the Cantonese Chow Mein,
grab a case, some chips & Cheetos hoping to C you back again
for another alcohol fueled award show
That's always a sad moment as sometimes that last one is just enough or it makes you go out searching for more. I highly suggest if you want some more served up you head over to Kill Panda Kill
I myself will be starting into another week of 6 pack cinema.
So to wrap up our nominations for best film of the week it sorta seems fitting today that this one hit the list..
One of Troma's better films & a semi-cult hit Mother's Day dips into the realms of bad taste but w/ sly sense of black humour, some unforgettable heavies & a bravo Drano/carving knife scene that it's a holiday classic.
From 1980 Charles Kaufman's Mother's Day
Before I get to handing out the best picture award a little shameless self promotion. You can follow me on Twitter @Blaxunshine to see what is being watched during the week or any senseless things that pop in my head. As well my profile is still on Community Flixster even though I have sorta folded up there this week due to the recent Warner Bros buy out that has caused a lot of my contacts to leave. There is close to 4 years & over 1500 of my movie blurbs if you give two shits. I just figured it was time to move on to something else.
Let's get to the best picture award – The Pabst Blue Ribbon
Now just for the record the movies that were watched this week that didn't make the cut were Blue Monkey, Cherry 2000, Empire of the Ants, Killzone, Ruckus & Tobacco Roody.
For review the nominees were Fast Times At Ridgemont High, Dixie Dynamite, Hooper, Run Angel Run!, Stunt Rock & Mother's Day.
..and the winner is
Fast Times At Ridgemont High
Fast Times is a fucking classic & to be fair to all the other films watched this week (although some were really good) they couldn't compete & I shouldn't have even watched it but Night Shadow (who I watch movies quite often w/ on the weekend) had never seen it.
Fucking shame on her.
If you haven't seen seen it shame on you as well. Watch it dammit! It's a fucking classic.
In fact watch any of the movies that I watched this week except for Blue Monkey..fuck I really watched to see a blue monkey. Nothing says fine film making like a guy in a gorilla suite.
Well that will do it for me this week as my case is empty. Time for another trip to the LCBO & to cue up the DVD or VHS for another serving.
Until next time..keep reaching for the brew & don't get behind the wheel.
Getting down to the nitty-gritty before we get to our big award of the week but still a bit to go. I hope that this doesn't feel like it's running long like the Oscars but if you're drinking right along you should be getting pretty numb by now & feeling no pain.
On to the next nominee for best picture..
Ozploitation stunt man Grant Page goes to LA to work on a TV series. While there he is also interviewed to be featured in a magazine about his craft & lends his knowledge to the band Sorcery. Highlighted w/ Page's death defying work & Sorcery’s showman performance this may have become a little cult hit w/ me.
From 1980 Brian Trenchard-Smith's Stunt Rock
Time for our last award before we get to best picture – The Bud
Be you super cool, a bad ass mother-fucker, hilarious as hell or carrying all the right stuff The King of Beers will be awarded to the best male performance.
The nominees are...
Sean Penn as Jeff Spicoli in Fast Times At Ridgemont High
Penn will always be remembered as stoner Spicoli so much that it would almost haunt him through his career. Granted the actor has gone on to many great performances his role in Fast Times At Ridgemont High would be the molder for stoners from then on often imitated but never duplicated. Keanu Reeves eat your fucking heart out.
Ray Walston as Mr Hand in Fast Times At Ridgemont High
Walston may have Penn to work of off but for just about every teenager in high school they had a Mr Hand. Walston is hilarious playing it so straight & true that I can't but help having him as a favorite of mine after seeing him in this movie. He almost makes me want to go track down old episodes of My Favorite Martian
Burt Reynolds as Sonny Hooper in Hooper
Say what many of you want about Burt Reynolds that man is 100% charisma. In the 70s the critics be damn & he produced some of the finest & funnest Drive In around because he knew who his audience was. As Hooper there's no exception.
David Campbell as Colonel Crawford in Kill Zone
Now many people say your probably shouldn't even be considered for an award if you're in a David A Prior movie but Campbell really won me over on a sheer fun factor. Sure his performance is a bit over the top but his tongue is planted firmly enough in this productions spirit that he stands out the most amongst the tripe...plus very few kill w/ less mercy.
William Smith as Angel in Run Angel Run
Nothing says Drive In motorcycle movie like Smith. He's the king of them & has a list to his resume longer then John Homes' cock. In Run Angel Run! he puts in another fine performance for the genre as an outlaw who in the end realizes there just might be something more to life like home & family.
Warren Oates as Mack in Dixie Dynamite
Oates has never fully gotten the recognition that he rightfully deserves put those familiar w/ his work knows that actor always adds to any project that he is involved in. Although top bill Oates is a little down in the pecking order of appearances in Dixie Dynamite but when he leaves town & you don't see him for awhile you're checking your watch for when he will return.
..& the winner is
Burt Reynolds as Sonny Hooper in Hooper
Burt Reynolds quite often is always Burt Reynolds but he is almost always good @ it. Not only does he stand great on his own but brings out the best of those around him being James Best, Sally Field, Brain Keith & Terry Bradshaw. For that he makes this movie very complete & a hell of a lot of fun.
Best Picture is still to come so stick around as we get to the bottom of this pack.
It's just about time to order a pizza so there's some staying power in the tank so the rest isn't alcohol fuled.
Put in a call for a bite as the next nominee for Best Picture is severed up..
Angel is a tough motorcycle riding mother-fucker but exposes his gang to a major magazine for 10 grand. Now the gang is out for revenge & w/ his girlfriend in tow Angel must run for his life. Along the way he realizes that even though you want to be free as a bird it's nice to have a nest to come home to.
From 1969 Jack Starrett's Run Angel Run!
Time for the next award – The Rolling Rock
Music has away been a huge part of my life. In film I find it crucial. It's the driving force & is almost a character on it's own.
The following are the nominees for best soundtrax...
Tobacco Roody
Sadly I couldn't find some of the actually music from Tobacco Roody on line but it is hickploitation heaven. The song Mountain Drew is enough for you to get a thirst on for some white lightning & the rest should rial you up enough that you want to fuck your cousin.
Ruckus
Songs written by Willie Nelson & Hank Cochran. Even though Ruckus is a sorta a poor boy version of David Morrell's First Blood the soundtrax is good ole boy country fine.
Fast Times At Ridgemont High
Loaded w/ great 80s bands like Sammy Hagar, The Go-Gos & Tom Petty the soundtrax to Fast Times At Ridgemont High is almost like a who's who of 80's rock..plus you'll never listen to The Cars Moving in Stereo quite the same way again.
Stunt Rock
Sorcery is the driving force behind Stunt Rock. Complete showmen (& taking up @ least half of the screen time) Sorcery pick up where 70s bands like KISS & Alice Cooper left off. Before I even watched Stunt Rock & viewing the trailer I knew I was in for something special...I wasn't disappoint.
..& the winner is
Fast Times At Ridgemont High
Fast Times @ times is brilliant w/ capturing the essence of 80s high school life by having a driving star studded sountrax. It will make you long for the days of malls, arcades & making out to side one of Zeppelin IV.
Well should have a good 3 beer buzz on
by now & we're rolling right along.
Time for our next nomination for Best
Picture..
Aging stunt man Sonny Hooper is a dying
breed & now a days is basically extinct in the world of CGI. In
the 70s though crazy mother-fuckers like him put in all on the line
risking life & limb for your entertainment & of course to
make the green backs.
From 1978 Hal Needham's Hooper
Time to award The C.L.I.T.
This award is given to the best
performance by a female but hell a pretty face & a sweet pair of
sugarboobies also goes a long way.
The nominees are..
Sally Field as Gwen Doyle in Hooper
I have to admit Sally Field was quite
the cutie back in the 70s. She stole my heart right off the bat as
she come out w/ a couple of Coors for her & her man...plus she
has a sweet little ass on her. She also creates good on screen
chemistry w/ Burt Reynolds & is quite apathetic when her dad
Brian Keith has a stroke.
Phoebe Cates as Linda Barrett in Fast
Times at Ridgemont High
Cates is always easy on the eyes &
lights but the screen w/ her natural beauty & million dollar
smile. She creates a defining moment in cinema when she comes out of
the pool & pops the top of that legendary red bikini.
Rose Ross as Mother in Mother's Day
Every boy loves his mother but even
enough to rape & kill for her entertainment? Rose Ross is looney
enough just to accomplish it. Ross shines in a role that helps make
Mother's Day a minor cult hit & making it a seminal holiday
classic.
Valerie Starrett as Laurie in Run Angel
Run!
Valerie is really a two-bit whore who
will do anything for her man. Now on the run w/ him she must leave
that life behind no matter how difficult she finds it. All she
really wants his love & comes to realize that.
Melanie Griffith as E Johnson in Cherry
2000
Griffith should have been a little more
bad-ass & sexy as a futuristic tracker but she does carry a
defining look that is quite often missing from the rest of the film.
Plus I think she's sorta sexy when she cracks out the heavy
artillery.
Joan Collins as Marilyn Fryser in
Empire of the Ants
Collins is caught in a thanklessly
awful movie but plays to her greatest strength..she's a bit of a
bitch. I just like seeing her meet her demise from a giant fucking
ant.
..& the winner is
Phoebe Cates as Linda Barrett in Fast
Times at Ridgemont High
I wish I could give two awards to
Cates..one for each sugarboobie. In one fleeting moment she makes
cinema history forever embedded in my psyche. I just might have to
excuse myself for a bit to have a private moment in the washroom like
Judge Reinhold.
Hold tight still more to come as I take
a bathroom break..no not for what you think.
Back at her w/ the next nomination for Best Picture..
After their moonshiner pa is busted by the feds & is killed running from the law his daughters Dixie & Patsy lose the farm to a local businessman who just happens to own the bank that's foreclosed on them. The 2 sisters decide it's time for revenge on those responsible & armed w/ shot guns & dynamite start robbing the town to find paradise in Rio De Janeiro.
From 1976 Lee Frost's Dixie Dynamite
Time for the next award – The Colt 45
This award is sorta the good, bad & ugly for the movies watched for the week. It's given to that moment (or film) that has something that sticks w/ me above everything else be that it's just so fucking awesome, so fucking bad or something that just sorta makes me shake my head & beer comes out of my nose.
The nominees are..
Grant Page in Stunt Rock. W/ over 60 films under his belt as stunt performer & coordinator they take a good look @ his craft. From free falling to setting himself on fire in an age of the wilder the better Page shines. Highlighted by a gaff where he crashes through the windshield of a car while he is set a blaze.
The mountain men in Tobacco Roody. These gold ole boys really know how to tie one on...goddamn I would like me some of that sweet mountain drew.
The entire movie of Blue Monkey just for the fact that it's titled Blue Monkey & there isn't a fucking monkey to be found.
Judge Reinhold in Fast Times @ Ridgemont High as he spanks his monkey while fantasizing about Phoebe Cates. Now I don't really blame him for taking that moment of self exploration because Cates is fucking hot but to see the man in motion always makes it difficult to keep me from choking on my bevy in laughter.
..& the winner is
Blue Monkey
Oh how pissed off I was after watching this movie. The only reason that I took it in was I was hoping to see a killer blue monkey on the rampage. Well it's a fucking giant insect movie. What a goddamn rip off. If you call your movie Blue Monkey you should have @ least have a guy in a monkey costume don't you think?
..Actually I shouldn't even waste a beer award on this movie & it rightfully deserves that shit worm that came out of that guys mouth but I'll give it something because I ranted on about it for about an hour after I watched it.
Getting a little parched so back to the cooler for another cold one.
For the week of May 6th - 12th 12 films were watched but I didn't keep a beer count. Of the 12 6 will be nominated for the best movie of the week.
The first nomination is a movie that was not allowed in my house growing up because of its frank depiction of teenage sex & drug use. Im sure my mother thought after viewing it I was going to be on a quail hunt knocking up every girl up in town all the while smoking pot frying my brain like an egg. Personally I think it's a great depictions of teenage life & a fun trip back to the 80s.
From 1982 Amy Heckerling's Fast Times At Ridgemont High
Time for the first award.. The 40 – A Life of Influence Under The Influence
This award is for the anything that has floated across my television screen that has had a major influence on my life. Not just limited to film but definitely represented in the medium sense.
Last Sunday as I lay on my couch hung over from a night of completely over doing it I watched For a Few Dollars More. I fucking love that movie & it was helping nurse me back to health. When it was over I had decided that I should get back on this blog & do this award show. Because of how excellent I think For a Few Dollars More is it won't be eligible for any awards this week because truthfully it would monopolize it.
When it comes to film every body has their favourite & Im no exception. There is one movie that I hold above everything else & then just sorta think there is everything else
That movie is The Good The Bad & The Ugly
Our family not having a VCR yet because my mother didn't believe in them when I was 12 I went to my uncles for Thanksgiving & he had the old pan & scan 2 tape of The Good The Bad & The Ugly. As soon as the theme song by Ennio Morricone kicked in I was in love & what followed was epic in my eyes. I have no idea how many times I have seen this film since. When we finally did get a VCR I rented it endlessly. Whenever it was on TV I watched it including times when I would come home @ 3 in the morning drunk off my ass & staying up until the sun rise. Now I have it on DVD & crack it out @ least once a year.
The 40 is awarded to Sergio Leone who w/ this one movie opened up the genre of Spaghetti Westerns to me & has directed some of my favourite films also including everything else in the dollar trilogy, Once Upon a Time in the West & Once Upon a Time in America. He is the master of combining all the elements that I consider masterful cinema that include a fantastic cast, mesmerizing style, great story & a classic soundtrax. W/out delving into his world who knows what kind of movies I might be watching today..Michael Bay. God help me!
Still a long way to go but time for another trip out to the kitchen.
Welcome to the Blaxunshine 6 Pack
Cinema Awards vol I.
For those who had actually stumbled
across this blog that had been in existence for a little over a year
(& had fell into a state of neglect) you will notice a change
in format. This space use to be used for something much different
before but like most things that get revamped it's due to a change in
the times.
Things were much different this time
last year & I was just using this form venting my mind for a life
that felt like it was in a state of disarray w/ my ex girlfriend of
many years leaving me & my mom after suffering a long bout w/
cancer eventually passing (Happy Mother's Day Mom-are..miss &
love you like the world). These pages were filled w/ cynicism w/
the occasional retro pop culture babbling but as anger subsided
coming by here became less & less frequent.
That is all gone now.
Now I bring you (which was going to be
my original intentions) Blaxunshine's 6 Pack Cinema Awards.
Raised as a TV & music baby (&
eventual beer lover) I have watched thousands of movies over the
years (& drank more beer then I care to count) I have decided to
bring you my own weekly award show bases on the movies that I have
watched over the week. 12 films were watched this week so let's get
this mother-fucker under way.
Now this isn't the Oscars & Im not
fucking Billy Crystal, Steve Martin or Chris Rock. Im not even Ellen
DeGeneres even though I probably like sugarboobies as much as her so
Im not going to crack jokes for the next 15 minutes.
..We are going to start this show w/ a
music number though.
As many of you may know Adam Yauch AKA
MCA from The Beastie Boys died back on May 4th after a
battle w/ throat cancer. A long time follower of the Beasties I was
very sadden by his passing. As a fan of classic rock, metal, punk &
old school funk they crossed it all over into the rap genre that blew
a boy @ the age of 13 mind away. Fight For You Right To Party was a
new anthem & over the years they continued to produce music that
I loved.
MCA you will be greatly missed
Here's a little something from The
Beastie Boys Awesome I Fucking Shot That which Adam Yauch also
directed..now everybody shake your fucking rump
Now that Im
starting to get my groove on Im going to take a little break &
make a trip to the fridge for a cold one.
