Last call for alcohol as the remaining
cold one is pulled from the pack.
The final nomination for Best Picture
for the week of C
From 1993 Brian De Palma's Carlito's
Way
Ex con Carlito Brigante vows to run on
the straight & narrow steering clear of the drugs & violence
that had once consumed his life only a debt that he feels he
personally owes to the lawyer who gave him a 2nd chance
jeopardizes all of that & in turn could cost him his life.
Get to the big award of the week in a
moment but a little self promotion & pandering before hand.
Blaxunshine can be followed on Twitter
@Blaxunshine if you care to know what movies are being watched during
the week or care to see the diarect that pops into my head @ any
given moment.
A couple shouts to people you should
check out. WWE PPV Over the Limit tonight & might check that out
just for the CM Punk & Daniel Bryant match. For your wrestling
previews & reviews check out
IWRShow
(they are also on Twitter). Also
for great blog radio check out Lost_On42ndSt
I do have more I should shout to on
Twitter but Im getting long in the tooth & I have a steak & a
BBQ that are calling my name so let's hand out the blue ribbon.
Just a quick run down of the movies
that didn't qualify this week – Caged Heat, Capicorn One, Chain
Gang Women, The Cheerleaders, C.H.O.M.P.S., Chopping Mall, Cleopatra
Jones & the Casino of Gold & Color of Night
Time for the award for Best Picture –
The Pabst
Again the nominees for the week of C
were Captain Blood, Chato's Land, Conan the Barbarian, Cutter's Way,
Carnal Knowledge & Carlito's Way.
..& the winner is
Carnal Knowledge
Carnal Knowledge is really a slice of
man in his society. It's one of those films that every man should
see @ some point of their life especially if they are @ their wits
end about woman (married or otherwise). The dialogue is sharp, the
cast is fantastic & will leave you w/ a taste in your mouth @ the
end that you can chew on.
Well that will do it for me for another
week.
Im still thirsty & I have more then
a 6 pack sitting in my fridge.
Sometimes a 6ers just isn't enough to
quench a man sized thirst but I'll give you what Ive got. Here's the
next nomination for Best Picture for the week of C.
From 1971 Mike Nichols Carnal Knowledge
The world of pussy is a catch 22 for
some men. Jonathan & Sandy believe that sex should answer that
conundrum that is the world women. In the end the search for such
things only lead to emotion turmoil & in the end emptiness. You
need to look for more in a woman then what is just between her legs.
One last award to get to until the
week's Blue Ribbon is handed out.
Serving up The Best Male
Performance – The Bud
From Captain Blood Errol Flynn as Peter
Blood
Captain Blood made Flynn a box office
star & rightfully so. He's great in the role. Full of integrity
even though he turns to the life of piracy. He carries a presence
from the Golden Age of Hollywood full of good looks & charisma.
He sorta reminds me of the first incarnation of Christian Bale but Im
sure he didn't threaten to beat some serious ass on the set of the
production.
From Convoy Ernest Borgnine as
Cottonmouth
Borgnine is such a delicious son of a
bitch in Convoy that it may be my favorite role of the veteran actor.
Taking payoffs, wrongful arrests & on a personal vendetta
mission to gun down the Rubber Duck Borgnine helps me to hate the law
even more then I do but all the while loving them as well.
From Carlito's Way Al Pacino as Carlito
Brigante
Pacino is hardly ever bad & more
often then not he's brilliant. W/ Carlito he's super cool as a man
that is trying to play it straight when given another chance who in
the end just wants to escape to paradise w/ the woman he loves once
the shit hits the fan. Even his narrative is ingenious.
From Carlito's Sean Penn as David
Kleinfeld
Penn is a natural chameleon in
Carlito's Way. Just his look as a Jewish lawyer will make you take a
2nd look. Penn plays Kleinfeld like a fine ageing wine
into the consumption of drugs & corruption to finally a man who
really forgets his origins into a world where he's in way over his
head.
From Cutter's Way John Heard as Alex
Cutter
Heard is mesmerizing as a handicapped
fireball of piss. He spins a special kind of magic because @ his
alcoholic core the bitterness is poison & all in all he is not a
respectable man (even if he's out for revenge for the murder of his
wife in the end) but you can't help but love him. It's almost like
tragic comedy.
From Carnal Knowledge Jack Nicholson as
Jonathan
So often Nicholson's legend proceeds
him. In Carnal Knowledge Im sure many men will see a reflection of
themselves in him where they so often in youth look only skin deep &
miss what is important in a woman out of fear & selfishness.
Nicholson never grows out of that & never learns otherwise left
to an actual life of unfulfilled emptiness.
..& the winner is
John Heard for Cutter's Way
As a long time movie fan I am actually
a little ashamed that I hadn't seen Cutter's Way sooner. The fact
that John Heard's performance isn't talked about more often is almost
criminal. He's fucking brilliant. When watching this I was like
'who the fuck is John Heard?'. A small search & I put the face
to the name but for everything else I have seen him in nothing can
remotely touch what he does here. It's a performance of a life time
& the best that I have seen in a film that I have never seen
before in years.
Getting to the bottom of this pack.
Reaching in for the last one.
Working that 3 beer buzz but threw some
delicious bacon & potatoes on it so that should dull the glow.
Keep your head on the floor on your feet of the ground as the next
nomination for best picture for the week of C is serves up.
From 1981 Ivan Passer's Cutter's Way
Richard Bone's car is a piece of shit &
as luck would have it he witnesses a dead body being dumped when it
breaks down. Instead of telling the police who he suspects his
handicapped friend, the victims sister & he decide to blackmail
the guilty party only to find out they are in for more then they
bargained for.
Time for the next award. The Good, the
Bad & the Ugly of the week. That moment that's was the most
awesome, so bad that it was wonderful or so fucking unbelievably ugly
that it stuck w/ me more then anything else – The Colt 45
The nominees are..
From Chain Gang Women – Ralph
Campbell Strangles Michael Stearns
Like last week's winner Blue Monkey
there is absolutely no truth in advertising in Chain Gang Women. You
would figure w/ this title it was a WIP flix but it isn't & boy
was I pissed. It should be nominated for this award based on that
alone but I won't do it twice when producers are blatantly being
deceptive to their viewer. Instead I'll have it hit this list for
Ralph Cambell who probably has 3 lines of dialogue in this including
none during a scene where his wife is forced to get drunk & raped
by Michael Stearns while he looks on tied to a chair. After he
escapes the old man creeps up to a window & strangles the shit
out of Michael Stearns..all the while not uttering a sound.
From Capricorn One – James Brolin
Maws a Snake
One the run from the conspirators
wanting murder him for his involvement w/ the faux Mars landing
Brolin hides out only to almost be killed w/ a snake. Fortuity he
kills the snake before it's able to kill him & hungry
mother-fuckers will do what they have to do to survive so he decides
to eat the snake..raw
From Conan the Barbarian – Arnold
Schwarzenegger Maws a Vulture
James Earl Jones decides to crucify
Schwarzenegger on the tree of woe. As he hangs out in the blazing
sun the vulture waiting for him to die to pick his carcass clean.
One decides he's going to get a jump on the game & have some
pecks on Arnie's pectorals. Not wanting to be the scavenger’s next
meal gnaws the mother-fucker in the neck killing it.
From Chopping Mall – Suzee Slater
Loses Her Head
Running for her life from a mall
Killbot Slater gets her cranium blown the fuck off w/ a laser in
glorious fashion.
From C.H.O.M.P.S. - CHOMPS Takes One
For The Team
After grabbing an explosive device off
of a safe & jumping out the window CHOMPS is blown the fuck up.
I know that he's a mechanical dogs but there is something a little
unnerving seeing a smoking dog w/ his innards hanging out. I bet it
will scar your children but not as much as having them sit through
C.H.O.M.P.S in it's entirety.
From The Cheerleaders – Stephanie
Fondue Gives A Toe Job
Stephanie Fondue might be a novice
sexual pixie who still has yet to lose her cherry but she gives some
wicked toe.
..& the winner is
From Chopping Mall – Suzee Slater
Loses Her Head
This one small fleeting moments makes
up for almost the entirety of having to eat the cheese that is
Chopping Mall. It may be one of cinema's greatest displays of this
nature only seconded by Scanners.
So fucking awesome they ran it again
during the closing credit. Suzee Slater you are immortalized in my
eyes.
Getting parched in this afternoon heat.
Another trip to the fridge.
Cold brewing getting to the half way
point of this 6 pack.
Here's the next nomination for Best
Picture of the week of C
Conan the Barbarian
After his tribe including his mother &
father are slaughtered by the hands of Thulsa Doom & his henchmen
hot steel will be swung & cold blood spilled & Conan travels
the land seeking revenge in a project that almost seems custom made
just for the pure physical specimen that is Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Time to pop the top & give out the
award for best female performance – The C.L.I.T.
The nominees are..
Penelope Ann Miller as Gail in
Carlito's Way
Miller is briefly introduced near the
beginning of Carlito's Way & then disappears for close to an hour
until we find out that she is working as a stripper & get to see
her wonderful sugar boobies. As a pole dancer she sucks though.
Fortunately given more to sink her acting chops into then her
'erotic' stage work as Pacino's love interest she is really sorrow
felt good by the end.
Olivia de Havilland as Arabella Bishop in Captain Blood
de Havilland has natural screen
presence & beauty that shines through whenever she is on screen.
You can cut the sexual tension between her & Errol Flynn from the
moment that she spots him @ a slave auction..even when she's slapping
his face when he takes certain liberties.
Juanita Brown as Maggie in Caged Heat
Surrounded by an almost complete female
cast in Caged Heat Brown is the stand out to land her on this list.
Full of spunk & the true bad ass of the bunch she has one of my
favourite lines of the week : Do you read lips? ..F - - - Y - -
Anne Margret as Bobbie in Carnal
Knowledge
Good Goddamn Margret used to be a
hottie! Love her on screen work especially when she was in her
physical prime & thankfully in Carnal Knowledge we get to see all
her goodies. Sexy, sympathetic & tragic Anne Margret shines.
Tamara Dobson as Cleopatra Jones in
Cleopatra Jones & the Casino of Gold
Although this sequel to the original
Cleopatra Jones is no where near as good Tamara Dobson is a tall dark
cool drink. An ass kicker & 100 proof style Dobson dominated the
screen w/ a legendary blaxploitation character.
Jane March as Rose in Color of Night
March really isn't given much to do in
Color of Night except to be a sex kitten but what a pussy cat she is.
Seeing her again after all these years in all her bareassed glory
she's still able to get a rise out of these old pair of Levis. Bruce
Willis you maybe be one of the luckiest sons on bitches in film aside
of Mickey Rourke.
..& the winner is
Ann Margret in Carnal Knowledge
Even now in her 70s Ann Margret is a
good looking woman (I should be so lucky to have such a fine looking
lady when Im an old man w/ sugar kicking my ass & a cock like a
bag of milk) but some 40 years ago she was smokin. She exudes such
natural sexuality that it almost makes me blush. To quote Kitten w/
a Whip..Creamy
Onto the next nomination for best
picture as I really went back into the vault some 80 years.
From 1935 Michael Curtiz's Captain
Blood
Enslaved for treason doctor Peter Blood
breaks from the chains of oppression & sets to the high seas w/
his band of pirates. A noble swashbuckler he & his men pillage
for booty but it's Arabella Bishop's booty that almost costs him the
loyalty of crew as he sets sail for the mouth of the lion who hunts
them..I'll take a classic like this over shit like Pirates of the
Caribbean any day.
Time to serve up the next award in this
6 pack for best music score or soundtrax – The Rolling Rock
Convoy
C W McCalls song convoy is a trucker
classic. It makes me want to get behind the wheel of an 18 wheeler &
haul freight across the country. In the 70s sub-genre of
truxpoitation to have a movie made based on the song just sorta seems
a natural fit. Although Sam Peckinpah's effect isn't necessarily
successful you can't deny just how catchy that theme song is..Keep
truckin good buddy!
Chopping Mall
Chuck Cirino's driving synth score is
80s glorious. It is a perfect fit for Chopping Mall big hunk of mega
cheese & quite often is the best thing about the film loaded w/
ass wipe characters aside of Paul Bartel, Mary Woronov & Dick
Miller.
Conan the Barbarian
Basil Poledouris score (especially the
theme) is sometimes as grandiose as Schwarzenegger's physique. It
gives magnitude to a character that is larger then life in a world of
hot steel.
Carlito's Way
The soundtrax The Carloto's Way is
loaded w/ great music from the 70s including KC & The Sunshine
Band, BT Express, The Bee Gees, The Hues Corporation & Ray
Barretto. Disco & a Latin touch that I haven't boogied so much
since the last time I watched Saturday Night Fever.
Cleopatra Jones & the Casino of
Gold
Funky w/ a touch of the Orient the
score to the sequel to Cleopatra Jones is as leggy as Tamara Dobson.
Even the theme song Playin w/ Fire that I questioned @ the beginning
grows on you.
Chain Gang Women
I enjoyed the music by Bob Duncan &
Ross Olmstead a hell of a lot more then Chain Gang Women itself.
Catchy chain gang songs & wild banjos & fiddles had me
smiling & tappin my toe. Jesus Can You Love a Working Man just
might be my new theme song @ work.
..& the winner is
Carlito's Way
..let's Rock the Boat Baby. I hate to
admit it but I like disco especially in film. Maybe it's just my
love of the 70s. After watching Carlito's Way & listened to a
shit pile of music from it & they became my soundtrax for the
night's drinking.
Get to the first award in a moment but
before I do let's look @ the first nomination for best picture
watched for the week of C. 16 films were viewed so I went on a bit
of a bender compared to last week but surprisingly no hangovers.
Cutting them down to the top 6.
From 1972 Michael Winner's Chato's Land
Chato kills a US marshal in self
defence & the white folks don't take too kindly to that. The
only good Indian is a dead Indian so Captain Quincey Whitmore &
his posse are in pursuit through the barren waste land hunting down
the Apache. Goddamn fools as they are no match for Chato as he is
leading them to their own demise. Who is really hunting who as Chato
must kill to survive.
Time to serve up our first award of A
Life of Influence Under The Influence – The 40
Through the years of endless film
watching there are actors that I have fallen in love w/ & will
watch just about anything they are in. That's a fair sized list but
of those about 6 I would classify as the baddest mother-fuckers of
them all.
Almost @ the top of that list is
Charles Bronson
As a teenager a friend of mine & I
used to scour the video store looking for titles that we wanted to
see & once we played a game called 'try to find a movie w/
Charles Bronson on the cover where he's not holding a gun'. Even
this weeks nomination for best picture Chato's Land he's carrying a
gun on the poster.
To be fair to Bronson it wasn't always
like that & probably came to fruition after Death Wish. After he
started blowing away punks audiences knew what they want to see from
Bronson & he almost always gave them what they want well into his
70s. Personally there is no one I enjoy watching shoot a gun more.
That's probably why I love Death Wish 3 so much..shoot those mother-fuckin creeps!
Bronson more then deserves The 40
because he is so richly loved by me. Whenever I am down all I have
to do is pop in one of his films & my day is full of blood soaked
sunshine. I miss him greatly & often think God is the coldest
mother-fucker of them all if he could take Charles Bronson from us.
More nominations for best picture &
more cracking of the 6 pack to come.
Blaxunshine is in a fantastic mood
today because it's the holiday weekend which means more beer drinking
& more movie watching.
I 'd like to thank everyone &
anyone who has decided to stop by for another installment of 6 Pack
Cinema even if you're just hoping to get a glimpse of Traci Lords
doing the dirty bird..sorry to say you're shit out of luck. If only
she did more porn when she was of age maybe I'd include her in this
new format. I had seen some of them before they were outlawed in my
youth but don't own any of them now. Besides only a fool would do
time for some pussy.
For those who have decided to sick
around Im happy to bring you the first themed 6 Pack Cinema Awards
where the sauce of the Gods will be given out to those deserving w/
movies that were watched this week beginning w/ the letter C.
Yes C as in underage CUNT as some of
you were hoping to come across..you fucking pervs.
Actually I should have been a little
fair to my fringe audience & watched John Water's Cry Baby so you
had some Lords to oogle over but it didn't dawn on me until this
fucking moment..wasted opportunity.
Oh well..maybe next time.
Will start to hand out the aluminum &
glass in a moment but going to start things off like I usually like
to..w/ a music number.
In honor of last weeks winner of best
picture, soundtrax & Phoebe Cates wonderful sugar boobies from Fast Times at Ridgemont High
here's The Car w/ Moving in Stereo.
That song always makes me want to spank
my blue monkey.
Going to start serving the 6 pack up in
a moment but first a trip to the fridge for a cold one.
